A Prize In Every Box

This is a place for the random musings and life experiences of one Fliven, who looks for life's fun little surprises, even when its in a giant box of stale, tasteless foodstuffs.

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Location: Sugar Hill, GA, United States

The details of my life remain shrouded in mystery.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

All yo' gangstas gots ta be down wi' Earl Grey, knowuimsayin? Tea tiz-ime!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

All I want for my birthday...

Only 21 more days to shop until my birthday. I have a couple things I'm going to get this afternoon though, as I have already provided lists for my loved ones to choose from. I need a mini RC of Herbie for my desk, and am ordering a copy of God of Cookery from Amazon. But that's about it.

My desk appearance is coming along nicely. Three or four swords on the wall behind you is really comforting. Added a bunch of daggers that I had laying around the house, and all that is required now is my talking Yoda which I can't seem to find. I was going to add my Voltron action figure robot thing, but that's just too important to risk damage or theivery. Same with the Green Lantern power battery. Its unthinkable to consider bringing in any of my Gundam model kits or the cold cast resin statues of Batgirl or Harley Quinn. No, I think what I have now will have to do.

Anyway...no ranting today. I've actually had fun at work for once. My desktop has been rearranged to vaguely resemble a Star Trek command console ("on screen!") and I'm pleased with it.

That is all. Please head over to http://www.brunettotshirts.com/ for all your t-shirt needs!

Monday, June 27, 2005

How adorable is this? Little K with the cloak I made for her? Pre-order now!


Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. The end of last week got to me. Last week I worked almost 50 hours, which will be nice on the paycheck, but is hard on the Fliven. Friday it is entirely possible I drank myself into a near-stupor and then flashed the White House, because I have no memory of what I actually did. I vaguely remember showering and something to do with my laundry early in the evening, but its all a haze after that.

Saturday Nyx and I trolled the mall. It was good times. The candy store there had the biggest Hershey Bar ever. Has anyone else seen this? It's about 2 feet by 1 foot by 3 inches. Must weigh 20 lbs. Forty dollars of sugary goodness. Tempting. Saturday evening was spent watching Hitch with a bunch of my brother's friends. Sunday I napped most of the day and saw Batman Begins again. Wheee, wild party weekend, huh?

Monday, back at work. The nice thing is that (unless I jinx it) I am completely caught up and up to date on all my tasks! My little plastic trays are empty! I am going to take this opportunity to bring in some decorations and adornments from home to give my desky area some personality. I'm thinking a battleaxe, a talking Yoda, three or four mini remote controlled cars modded to resemble 80's television vehicles, and the Green Lantern power battery (it really glows!) In fact, I don't know how I've gotten along without these items to inspire me thusfar. I'll snap pictures if the ensemble works.

Today's site is my current favorite comic, PvP. Its taking forever to go through the Archives. And its free. Enjoy. http://www.pvponline.com/

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Might be time to open a can...*Popeye spinach can opening/chewing music*

Purple Toupee

The title is the name of a They Might Be Giants song...the song that reminds me of the girl I dated back in winter/spring of 2003...we'll call her "Liza". Liza did not have a purple toupee, per se, but I bought the song and listened to it in the car with Liza, who ridiculed it mercilessly. Making fun of TMBG is not the way to get on my good side. There's a tip for all prospective females out there.

For those of you who don't know (which is probably all of you, who am I kidding) Liza and I went out for a few months, but she had more than the maximum amount of emotional baggage, which is not, not something I will tolerate again. Anyway...it came down to it that she was spending all her weekends visiting "friends" (I don't want to know) in Virginia Beach, got fired, wrecked her '03 Mustang convertible, and moved down there permanently, which was how we broke up. The twist is that since then she's called or e-mailed from time to time, usually when I'm on a date with someone else (cosmic joke on someone there), and has been hinting that she's still interested. Not enough to move back or even come visit, thank the Lord, but its still annoying. But basically, this is 1/3 of the reason that 2003 has become The Year Stricken From All Memory Forever or something to that effect.

I bring this up because Liza has once again tracked me down and is instigating heartburn and darn if I'm not fresh out of antacids. I think I've been entirely too nice about it. And she is a nice person, but I just can't deal with the jerking around of the emotions anymore. Y'all smell what I'm shoveling here? Anyway, I blocked 3 of her phone numbers, but she pulled out #4 and got ahold of me. So I'll have to get nasty if she keeps this up.

In other news, my sister Jean has an infected cut on her finger that's really nasty...she was in the ER 2 nights ago and saw a hand surgeon (is there such a thing as a butt surgeon? what do you put on your business card?) yesterday afternoon. Otherwise the family is fine. Mom and Dad are going on a trip out west with their college friends for their anniversary. So the house should be quiet for awhile.

For a real hootenanny, go to http://www.wafflehouse.com/musicmachine.htm
There you can listen to samples of such hits as There are Raisins in My Toast, 844739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger, and of course, the Waffle Do Wop. You laugh, but I'm not making this up.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Help! Friends! A guinea pig tricked me!

Ode to a Vendor

My dear little vendor
Who sends us lots of stuff
Why must you persist
in making my life so tough?

Can you not count
the items in your box?
Do you sit and make them up
while on your loading docks?

What need have we
of ten thousand wicks?
Or an ocean of ink
Or sealing wax in bricks?

And where are our swords?
Our helmets? Our lights?
No Zippos or knife blocks
Or chess sets with knights

Silly vendor, I will call you
You ignorant fool
Perhaps you'd do better
If you finished pre-school

Today's entertaining site: http://www.eyeglasses.com/monocle_eyewear/
Its going on my birthday wish list. Cause I need one.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Just a really neat picture.

Butt-heads and Batarangs

Friday I was so glad to get home. It was exactly the evening I needed. Did a bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and then watched the ridiculous and historically inaccurate antics presented by Troy, a film I will never watch again.

Saturday Nyx and I went to see Batman Begins. Let me tell you people, that was the best movie I've seen in a long, long time. It was how Batman should have been done since the beginning, athough I will say that they had some of their Batman lore incorrect. Batman did not train under Ra's Al Ghul, Lucius Fox did not provide the Batmobile, and Rachel did not even exist in the equation. Arkham Asylum is a huge scary castle outside of town, not a factory-looking thing 200 yards from Wayne Tower. So yeah, small inaccuracies for the nerds in the audience, but a lot better than any of the other films. And the acting and directing were superb.

After that on Saturday we went by a comic book shop and spent about an hour. I picked up some missing isses of PvP, and a copy of the Midnight Nation trade. Both are excellent.

Sunday I worked at the store, as we have many people on vacation. Did really good in sales, but I keep forgetting how stupid people are. A lot of people who came in had this glazed "brain permanently on a test-pattern" look. There was one lad, perhaps 15 or 16 years of age, with a wee tiny head and a slack jaw who did not know what a battleaxe is. For a boy of any age not to know what a battleaxe is seems to me to be some kind of code violation or something. And my Sunday went downhill from there.

Really don't want to be at work today. Bad morning. Perhaps I will take a mental health day this week. We'll see how the rest of today goes.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Yeeehaaaa! Bear. Firecrackers. Saddle. Let the weekend fun BEGIN!

Beast of Burden

Yesterday I worked a few hours at the mall filling in for some people who were on vacation, right? Not a problem, even though it meant a 12 hour day. Nor was it a problem when the lady who ordered a $800 Art Impressions sculpture came in to pay the remainder and take it home. Nor was it a problem when I had to close the store to carry it out to her car, as it is a 3' x 3' x 3' box that weighs about 60-70 lbs. What was a problem was that as we walked through Sears with me carrying the box on the way to her car was that she stopped to look at clothes. Let me repeat that. She stopped....to look....at clothes.

Oh yes, she did. We're wandering along, and she's commenting on the attractive appearance and reasonable prices of some women's suit coats/blazers. Which brings me to my second problem. They were hideous. How can someone with such good taste in sculpture have such bad taste in clothing. I just wanted to say "ma'am, that bright yellow polyester blazer with brighter yellow hawaiian flowers on it is not 'pretty'. It is, in fact, something a clown would wear. And if you do not get your kiester out the door to your car in five seconds, I am going to bludgeon you with this oh-so-heavy box."

But I didn't. Cause that would be bad for customer relations.

So we make it to her two-door BMW. Which brings us to problem number three. There is no way that the box is going to fit in its current state. The trunk opening is a foot across. Even I, thin as I am, would be hard-pressed to fit in these doors. The box will not fit. So then its a battle to get the sculpture out of the box, into the car, and then break down the packaging so it fits in the trunk. All the while blazer b**** is providing useful comments like "that looks heavy" or "I should have brought the big car" and of course "maybe if you turned it the other way...?"

When my hordes of blood-thirsy minions darken the land (Phase 4), she'll be one of the first on my list. It'll look like a Capital One commercial (what's in your wallet?) only she doesn't carry a Capital One. *maniacal laughter*

I'm glad its Friday. Today I do laundry, and tomorrow I go out with Nyx, see Batman, and give my brother his birthday present. Sunday it looks like I'm working at the mall again, which sucks, but I need the hours from the time I missed for the Blade Show.

These are the boots I want to buy, once I have money again. Cause they're pretty sweet....they're awesome...those shoes, they're...they're incredible...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Don't you hate it when monkeys hassle you and mess with your ride?

Worst book EVER.

So I just finished reading this book, Dragon Wing (Death Gate Cycle Book 1), my brother recommended. It was so stupid. And much to my dismay, it was done by one of my favorite authors; or rather, team of authors. They should be ashamed of themselves! Are you reading this, Margaret Weis? How about you, Tracy Hickman?! Your book reeked. It was detestable. The characters were one-dimensional, the only halfway interesting character dies twice. The plot was ridiculous, the annoying brat prince who manipulates everyone does not get comeuppance, in fact, he gets lauded. What is that about?! Elves are depicted as snobbish shallow pansies. The dwarves are depicted as stupid clumsy cowards. I mean really. We can't do better than that? I am disappointed.

The job hunt continues. I applied for 16 jobs yesterday. As of yet, no calls and no e-mails. This racket gets really depressing after awhile, people. Nevertheless, the search for more money (Operation: Spaceballs II) continues. A new job is part of Phase I. An integral part in fact, which the rest of the phases pretty much hinge upon. Sad, really, that my life is based around money and the need for more of it, but what can you do?

For when I immigrate to Europe. So much red tape! Perhaps I should go rant down at the EU Embassy or something.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

This is how I look first thing in the morning, too. Minus the friendly smile, though.

Crenellated Bezels

Today's cool band name is The Crenellated Bezels. Its a description of a flashlight attachment we have here, but its also really fun to say. Crennnelllllateeed Beeezzzzelllllls.

Not much going on to speak of. Monday was my brother Charles's birthday. We had a yummy dinner, a few fun gifts, some brownies, half a dozen nubile Australian women, and shot off a few illegal fireworks. It was good times. Regarding the Australians, they are co-worker friends of Charles who just came for cake and stuff. Still, it was good times. Good times.

My other brother William has his birthday on Saturday, which we will probably celebrate by going to see Batman Begins, unless I can manage to sneak off and see it tonight. My ADD girlfriend has gone AWOL again. But she has gotten a job as an accountant making really good money. And its another notch in her nerd belt...cause lets face it, accounting is a pretty nerdy profession. Seriously, if she starts snorting when she laughs and wearing pocket protectors, I think the nerds of the earth will rise and proclaim her their queen. I do love her though.

Looks like my life is going to get a bit bumpy in the months to come...I'll be changing jobs, most likely changing addresses, and who knows what else. The timetable is a bit screwy, but there is a plan. Right now I am in the beginnings of Phase I. But I can't reveal anything yet...it would be premature at this point.

Because you always wanted to know how to make a plush Vampire Hunter D doll.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Sidewalk chalk art...yes, its all flat. Link to more tomorrow.

When does it END?!

Monday. What a disaster. I get into work and there are piles of work to be done. And when I left Friday, there was very little. And nobody, to my knowledge, worked over the weekend. So where did it come from?! Is my paperwork alive? Did it procreate and spawn over the weekend? Does it divide asexually like some kind of cell? Are post-its paperwork in some sort of a larval stage? It would explain a lot.

The weekend was good. Friday I sat around and did nothing...Saturday I spent the day with Nyx--doing her errands, mostly--but had good times. Saw Vanity Fair with the lovely Reese Witherspoon. Suprisingly good movie. A few of those people (the aristocrats) needed to be shaken til their teeth rattled. Stupid they were. We also ate a greasy good lunch at Rainforest Cafe. For dessert we ordered the Chocolate Volcano, which is a scrumptious concoction of fudge brownie, ice cream, caramel and chocolate sauce with a sparkler on top. It was good, but the best part is whenever they bring one out, every waiter/waitress yells "Volcaaannoooooo!!!", which I said randomly for the rest of the day. I'm still looking for an audio clip of it.

Sunday was spent cleaning and napping, in preparation of my grandfather coming to visit. Finally got that done and spent the rest of the night reading and eating leftover red-and-green peanut M&M's from Christmas. My life is like a party that never ends.

Today's entertainment involves a music video...be sure your sound is on, its worth it. The little mimes are hysterical. I love the Legend of Zelda one. http://gprime.net/video.php/nintendothemesacappella

Friday, June 10, 2005

I'm waiting for the one with kung-fu grip. Entropy beware! Action physicist! In-your-face relativity! Woot!

Some days...

Today is one of those days where you're inexplicably in a good mood for no real good reason, and yet everything is going wrong. Couldn't find any caffeine, almost broke my toes on the edge of the bed, forgot a really important document I left sitting on the printer, late to work, got a reprimand from my boss for something that's not my fault, couldn't find the item I need to send out, etc. And yet, I'm in a good mood. How strange.

The parents are gone this weekend, going to visit my grandfather in Ohio. He's coming back with them on Sunday for a visit down here, which should be nice. He hasn't been here for awhile. Also, we apparently have family buried in Arlington Cemetary, so we're planning a trip down there while he's here.

Also, the trip to Boston has been scrapped. Boston is way too expensive! I kid you not! Nyx and I are planning to head down to the Hamptons for a couple days for half the price. And in a really nice hotel, too! 20 minutes from Williamsburg (Busch Gardens, woohoo!) and 40 minutes from Virginia Beach. So that's our grand adventure this year...unless later this year I have enough points from my credit card to get us somewhere cool. We shall see!

Is it just me, or does the weather outside feel and usually smell exactly like a saturated bath sponge?

Today's fun site: http://www.thinkgeek.com/
For the nerd in your life, even if its you. Albert Einstein action figure...marshmallow shooter...the entire line of plush microbes...caffeinated soap...check it out!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Pig with bat. Cat with time-altering vacuum. Yeeha! Let's get it ON.

Death to Piggies!

So last night Nyx and I rented this video game (yes, we're the nerdiest couple ever) wherein you are a team of time-altering cats fighting the nefarious theiving pig gang. Which makes one wonder what they were on when they thought this up? Or is there a long-standing hatred between cats and pigs I am unaware of? And wouldn't cats be the last creatures on Earth that would willingly wield a hand-held vacuum cleaner for a weapon? And furthermore, there is a sequel. There are people in the industry who decided it was a good idea to make another one.

Afterwards we watched Disney's Atlantis, which was fun. I had never seen it. Nyx was amused that I willingly accepted all the weirdness, the giant mechanical lobsters, the glowing magic crystals, the exploding fire bugs, but was outraged when they tried to make us believe that a gigantic iron drilling vehicle went over a wooden plank and rope bridge over lava without even causing the bridge to even jiggle a little bit. The thing had to weigh at least 3 or 4 tons. Its this kind of thing that gives fantasy movies a bad rap. It makes it less realistic. The most successful stories/movies/fantasies I have found are ones where logic is used; where there is a possibility that it could happen, and if it did, it would happen exactly like that. And where rules such as gravity and the strength of 5000-year-old wood still apply. But that's just my opinion.

And now I'm back at work, adjusting inventories and dealing with order crises. Today for lunch, I have a hotdog, nutri-grain bar, and oreos. Does a body good. And pretty normal for me, who has been known to make a meal of 4 chocolate eclairs and a flagon of mead.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Batman driving a bus...priceless.

Vacation Post

Last Thursday after work I took off and started the long drive down to Wake Forest, NC to meet up with Ishy, with whom I would crash and then carpool with to Atlanta, GA. Five minutes on the road, and I was caught in a morass of traffic. At 2:30 in the afternoon. On a Thursday. I knew something was up. Two miles and twenty minutes later, I figured it out. All of 95 South was stopping to stare and laugh at a fool. I say that because a motorcyclist felt that he could somehow run into a dump truck full of dirt and not lose. He was unhurt, but his bike was totalled. Silly stupid man! Race against a dump truck and you win, race into a dump truck and you will invariably lose.

Made it to Wake Forest after that uneventfully. Watched Young Blades on PAX. Fun show. Slept and then woke up the next morning and we journeyed to Atlanta. Nice trip, although it rained 90% of the way there. And I came to realize that I should have packed a pair of shorts, cause it was hot. I leave Maryland and its 65 degrees, and I get to Atlanta and its 95 degrees! What is the deal?

Met up with Behtia and we all went out for coffee Friday evening. Good times. Saturday was the *clap-clap...clap-clap-clap...clap-clap-clap-clap...blade show!" Lots of really really neat knives and swords and gadgets and things. I didn't purchase anything, but met a guy and set great things into motion. More on that as it develops. Also got to meet a bunch of really neat knife guys. Knife people fall into two categories: cool or psycho. Sometimes its a fine line, but not usually. The guys wearing camo and starting companies like Mercenary Mayhem are ones you want to steer clear of.

Sunday was the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Luckily for me it was cloudy most of the time and I got no sunburn. Let me repeat that. I got no sunburn. How awesome is that?! I was thrilled. Saw the Hack & Slash show, which was especially great, as they blew up some SpamLite with a black powder pistol. Can't beat that! I also got the rest of my shopping for family birthdays done. Brothers are so easy to shop for.

Monday was the long long journey back. I listened to The Gunslinger by Stephen King on CD. Good book. I'm going to try and find the second in the series. Ends up I am tired and a little sore today, but feeling alright. Nyx is coming up this afternoon for a brief visit. We're discussing our travel options for later this summer, and she is excited about a potential job opportunity.

Not much else going on...it looks like business back to usual. Looking forward to Batman Begins which opens next week. And I am rereading Harry Potter and coming up with some interesting theories...one is that the Half-Blood Prince is probably Hagrid; although other options are Seamus Finnigan, Tonks (unless she dies in book 5, I can't remember), or someone really obscure. The other theory is that of Voldemort's ultimate destruction. At the end of book 4, Dumbledore has a brief look of triumph when Harry mentions that Voldemort used his blood in his resurrection potion...makes me think that perhaps it is going to be an ingredient in a potion that will span all books and lead to Voldemort's destruction. Other ingredients might include a sorcerer's stone potion, Tom Riddle's diary, etc. You get the picture. It'd be a neat way to tie everything together and give Dumbledore mad props for seeing the big picture.

That is all.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

World of Cheesy Goodness!

Vacation Time!

After work today, I hit the road for my beginning-of-summer sabbatical. This year I am going, in case you haven't been reading my posts (tsk!), to lovely sweltering humid thunderstormy Georgia. This weekend is the Atlanta Blade Show, which has become the grown-up version of Christmas morning for me. I'm all like, laying awake at night and telling other people about it in a bug-eyed "barely restrained excitement" kind-of way. It doesn't help that I get a VIP pass for free because of work. About time they got me some swag!

Its also exciting because I'll get to meet the knife industry's version of celebrities. How redneck nerd is that?! Don't worry, there will be pictures and a lengthly exposition when I return, if not sooner.

Also this weekend is the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Always good times. Hopefully it won't be too hot, but knowing Georgia, it will be...it will be...

It looks like Nyx and I are going to try to go to Boston for our anniversary at the end of July, but we'll see how that goes. What is there to do in Boston? Suggestions will be accepted. I think we want to hit Salem one day and look around, just generally get into trouble there, but other than that, can't think of a thing.

Today's site: http://www.worldofcheese.org/cheese/
I have this on my website's links page, but I thought I'd post it here as a refresher. Learn how Don Knotts and Mr. T teamed up to defeat the evil Skeletor. And is the Hamburglar really Richard Nixon? This site answers all your needs.