Not in the Face!

So yesterday, we discovered that the downstairs bathroom was locked. With no one inside it. This is a major bummer, right? So I grab a screwdriver and a hammer and pull the pins out of the hinges. Foolish me expected the door to pop right off. It did not. Instead, it stuck fast, until I crouched down, got my fingers under the bottom edge, and yanked with all my might. Then it not so much popped off as EXPLODED off. Knocked me on my butt, and I got a face-full of metal hinge. It didn't really hurt a whole lot, but my nose suddenly started gushing blood from between my eyes. Not good. After leaving a bloody trail all the way to the kitchen sink, I get it stanched and then view the damage. Cut across the entire bridge, and the flesh of my nose is trying to slide off my face. Not good. So, as gently as possible, I inform the wife, and we go to the ER. The finance lady reminds me of Elliott Reed from Scrubs, and the actual doctor reminds me of the wife's friend C. In fact, everyone there reminded me of someone else. Weird.

I gotta tell you, anesthetic has made wonderful progress in the last 25 years since I had another face-smashing snafu. At that time, it was injections with a freaky big scary needle right into your face. And now? Swab some stuff on with a q-tip and wait 20 minutes. SO much better!

So yeah. 5 stitches in my face, and I can't be too facially expressive for awhile. Kinda ruined the Sunday afternoon.

Also, had to spend a hundred bucks on a new car tire cause those dummies couldn't patch a hole. That's a trifle irritating.

Beer Goggles

So the wife and I have started becoming beer enthusiasts. We are looking at things like beer festivals and beer tastings and whatnot. For those of you who know me, and know my past, this is surprising. For those who don't, here is a brief digest:

My great-grandfather was somewhat of a drunk, and it led to unpleasantness (not sure of details) for my grandmother growing up. As a result, she was a member of the Women's Christian Temperance Union for 80 years. Imagine if prohibition had never ended, but just in your own house. Anyway. I hadn't had a drink until WELL after my 21st birthday, and even then it was an extremely rare thing. Being raised that way has instilled me with a certain amount of guilt if I dare to imbibe. I know my sister drinks to some degree, I'm not sure what, but my brother Charles does not. My other brother…who knows. Neither one of us is talkative, and its a taboo subject around the house, so its tough to say.

Anyway, I have tried a few different samples of each genre in the alcoholey world, and can say with certainty that wine is not my thing. To me, it tastes like earwax juice. Gross. Sometimes grape-flavored earwax juice, sometimes bubbly earwax juice, but earwax juice nonetheless. Hard liquor/mixed drinks are hit-or-miss. I love some Bailey's…and a creamy russian (vanilla vodka nd ginger ale) always hits the spot. No scotch. That stuff is not my thing, despite my partial Scottish lineage. Tequila…treat it with respect, and it'll be good to you. Treat it with carelessness, and it'll STRIKE BACK. I have tried others, and there are dozens of cordials and liquors left to sample, some good, some not. Got to keep a little mystery.

Back to beer. I started with hard cider, which is tasty. It was my 'gateway beer' if you will. I have tried every brand and type of cider that is made and/or available. Hornsby's, Strongbow, Hardcore, Woodchuck, etc. My favorite is the Woodchuck 'Cider Maker's Choice'. It comes in the variety 12-pack. Most of your ciders taste like apple juice with carbonation and a bit of alcohol. The CMC is heavier, a little sweeter, and cinnamony, like actual CIDER. But with an alcoholey kick. Mighty tasty. I had it with Thanksgiving dinner a couple years ago. From here, I tested several different other types of beer, and found that the majority of them just don't interest me; my wife likes ones like Harp or Sam Adams.

I find that I prefer stouts, such as Guinness, dark lagers (Sam Adams makes a good one), and the occasional oddball, such as Blue Moon or Victory Golden Monkey. It really needs taken on a beer-by-beer basis. Our bartender Lyndsie recommended the VGM, and also made me a chocolate chip banana bread beer, which was really interesting. Its a mix of 2 British beers, one a double-chocolate stout, and one a banana bread fruit beer. Very tasty, but you really can't drink it with any sort of food, except maybe a bowl of walnuts or something. But yeah. Sam Adams actually is a really good brand, and I like 3 or 4 of their beers, but I think it was at the Deep Creek Lake cabin that someone mentioned that the SA Cherry Wheat was nasty, and I concur. That stuff is foul. Very un-Sam Adams like.

I guess that's all I've got from the beer world. I don't really like beer WITH food so much, just by itself. And Guinness is practically a meal by itself anyway. And for some reason, stout beer and chicken strips together make me hurl. Independently, fine, but together, blow chunks. Its a weird thing.

If you get a chance, check out the 'Bad Decisions' bar. They have bacon happy hours, with big piles of bacon and bacon-flavored drinks and all sorts of bad for you deliciousness.