Things You Should Mean
So I have had people lately giving off-hand apologies or thank yous at work or at restaurants or whatever, and I realized that something that is a real peeve of mine is when certain things are not MEANT when they're said. These are those things.
1. "Thank you". Its such a simple thing, to thank someone, but if you don't mean it, don't say it just to be polite. It waters down the meaning if you aren't truly thankful for the goods or service you have received. A heartfelt thank you is really powerful, and a weak one just cheapens the words.
2. "I promise…". For most of my life now, I have tried to use the phrases 'I'll do my best to' or 'I think I can' or 'I'm pretty sure' instead of 'I promise'. This is to avoid breaking my word in cases where I am not sure I may be able to keep it, or using it for things like taking out the trash or some other trivial thing rather than important uses. You SHOULD use it when you are making big, life-changing important decisions, such as wedding vows, quitting bad habits, and the like. If you say the words but rarely, they will have a real, almost jarring effect on you when you DO use them, and you're more likely to follow through.
3. "I'm sorry". I hear this spoken glibly SO often, and I am guilty of this as well, but saying this when you just bump into someone in the hallway, or you leave something out where someone trips over it a little, or say some joke that falls flat, and you say 'sorry', do you REALLY mean you're sorry? Do you mean that you deeply regret the actions or words that you yourself have done that have led to this, almost to the point of tears? Or if its a sympathetic I'm sorry, the things that have been done or said to the other party, etc? If you had ANY means possible, would you go back in time to change it? Does the thought of it happening again fill you with a heart-sinking horror? THAT is what it means to be sorry. Need to find another word or phrase for the little things, like 'my bad' or 'pardon me' or something.
4. "I love you". So many people so often confuse this with infatuation, lust, or some other feeling or emotion. To me, when you love someone, you're willing to live for them. Dying for someone is easy; any fool can go out and get themselves killed for a cause or a person. But dedicating your entire life, the ONLY lifetime you will ever have, to someone else's happiness and well-being with NOTHING expected in return? That's love. And its SO often abused or misused, that its meaning has become murky and often misunderstood.
Man, I should write a book. This stuff is gold and people need to hear it.
1. "Thank you". Its such a simple thing, to thank someone, but if you don't mean it, don't say it just to be polite. It waters down the meaning if you aren't truly thankful for the goods or service you have received. A heartfelt thank you is really powerful, and a weak one just cheapens the words.
2. "I promise…". For most of my life now, I have tried to use the phrases 'I'll do my best to' or 'I think I can' or 'I'm pretty sure' instead of 'I promise'. This is to avoid breaking my word in cases where I am not sure I may be able to keep it, or using it for things like taking out the trash or some other trivial thing rather than important uses. You SHOULD use it when you are making big, life-changing important decisions, such as wedding vows, quitting bad habits, and the like. If you say the words but rarely, they will have a real, almost jarring effect on you when you DO use them, and you're more likely to follow through.
3. "I'm sorry". I hear this spoken glibly SO often, and I am guilty of this as well, but saying this when you just bump into someone in the hallway, or you leave something out where someone trips over it a little, or say some joke that falls flat, and you say 'sorry', do you REALLY mean you're sorry? Do you mean that you deeply regret the actions or words that you yourself have done that have led to this, almost to the point of tears? Or if its a sympathetic I'm sorry, the things that have been done or said to the other party, etc? If you had ANY means possible, would you go back in time to change it? Does the thought of it happening again fill you with a heart-sinking horror? THAT is what it means to be sorry. Need to find another word or phrase for the little things, like 'my bad' or 'pardon me' or something.
4. "I love you". So many people so often confuse this with infatuation, lust, or some other feeling or emotion. To me, when you love someone, you're willing to live for them. Dying for someone is easy; any fool can go out and get themselves killed for a cause or a person. But dedicating your entire life, the ONLY lifetime you will ever have, to someone else's happiness and well-being with NOTHING expected in return? That's love. And its SO often abused or misused, that its meaning has become murky and often misunderstood.
Man, I should write a book. This stuff is gold and people need to hear it.
posted by Fliven | 11:45 AM
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