A Few Good Comics...

The past week or so has been slow here at work. I'm not sure why, but its kind-of irritating. I hope its not like this through the end of the year. We DO get a fair bit of work at the end of the year, though, with people wanting to get orders in for fresh forms for the new year, so it SHOULD pick up. But right now, yeah, dead.

Still, the time has not been wasted. I have been hunting for good webcomics to read. I've found about half a dozen that are entertaining. They are as follows:

Player Vs. Player - One of my favorites. Its about a group of people working at a video game magazine. So lots of nerdy references. And there's a blue troll.

Looking for Group - Really like the art on this one. A fantasy story about a group of adventurers with the undead necromancer being the comedy relief. Worth a read.

Questionable Content - Modern day, 'Friends' like scenario. If 'Friends' were more gothy and emo. And there's a psychotic little robot.

Goblins - A group of goblins who, instead of being fodder for low-level adventurers, become adventurers themselves. Neat premise, great art, an exciting storyline. I wish he'd put them up faster though...

Zap! - An outer space, sometimes cheesy, science-fictioney drama. Great art, interesting characters, story's pretty good. Needs more funny, but still quite readable.

Errant Story - An elfy-anime drama type of story. Very well written and drawn though.

Ummm...looking forward to Thanksgiving next week! I'm trying to be good (ok, less worse than usual, actually) this week, so that I do not feel like a big fat cow after next weekend. There will probably be some Facebook pictures and some turkey deep frying. And punkin pie. There MUST be punkin pie. And hopefully, we're going to have all of our Christmas shopping done before then, and can spend some of the weekend putting up Christmas decorations and wrapping stuff.

End transmission.

I can haz blog!

Yeah, I've been spending time at I Can Has Cheezburger. So what? Its been REALLY slow at work this week, and I am amused by funny animal pictures with humorous captions. Plus you can add your own, so why not?

This All Hallows' Eve, I plan to embark on a night of frivolity under the guise of one Sherlock "Scooter" Holmes. I actually have no idea if Sherlock had a nickname in school; but it'd be funny to know what it was if he did. Like, good ole Sherlock "Buttface" Holmes, or you remember Sherlock "Nose Goblins" Holmes? Regardless, I have the hat, acquired from an authentic Scottish vendor at the VA highland games, the calabash pipe, the magnifying glass, the bowtie, etc. I do not have the houndstooth cloak, but only because I couldn't find one that matched my hat. And the Mrs. is going as a pirate this year. We will be running around Athens, GA with another couple, who are dressing as JD from Scrubs and Joanna from Office Space (complete with 17 pieces of flair). It promises to be fun.

Also, I am having trouble deciding how to carve my pumpkin this year. I did Snoopy as a WWI flying ace last year, which was AWESOME, so follow-up will be difficult. Maybe I'll just kick a hole in the front and stick a candle in it. Perfect! Simple, effective, classic.

My Christmas list is done, and shopping is well underway. Not much frivolous stuff this year, with the exception of a Nerf 'Vulcan' dart gun. If you haven't seen this, its the equivalent of an M60 gun emplacement. Comes with a tripod and everything.

Ummm...work is really slow today. Here is a catalog of everything on and around my desk: computer, monitor, stupid 1-button mac mouse (not plugged in), keyboard, slick 2-button mouse (plugged in), Swingline stapler, a few proof folders, 2 pens, 9 cents in pennies, a monocle (not the in-the-eye kind, but the jeweler/printer uber magnifying kind), some paperclips, my phone, scanner, water bottle from Chesapeake Knife & Tool (half full), my messenger bag with stuff in it, metal ruler, Swatch book, and recycling bin.

According to the scale at Fry's Electronics, I have gained 40 lbs since I graduated college. I am a fatty fatty piggy pig! Ha ha, not really. I think 'average' weight for my height is like, 170. Since I was 125 lbs when I graduated, I'm STILL below average, and need to lose a few, actually. Or at least redistribute the weight from the belly area to other regions. Getting old though. Speaking of which, we joined a small group (I say small, but its still 14 people) at church of other couples who are married but don't have kids yet. It was wild because we were the oldest by several years. And like, TEN years older than the youngest. Man, I felt ancient. Still, they seem like good people. One of them is manager of a Waffle House, so yeah...we'll be buddy-buddy so there can be free waffles for Fliven. Mmmm...free waffles...

Remember: if you look like your passport picture, you need the trip.

Cabin Fever

Ok, who turned on the winter?! Really, it was warm and rainy last week, and this week its dry and COLD. I'm scraping my windshield, for crying out loud! Hard on a person, that drastic a weather change.

2 weekends ago we went to the North Georgia State Fair. It was more shucksters and fewer crafts and agriculture than I expected, but it was still pretty interesting. Look for the photos on my facebook page soon. They'll be good for a laugh. Only in the lovely South will you find a stand selling deep fried Oreos next to a stand selling thongs. And people going from one to the other, who shouldn't be at either one. Yikes.

That weekend we also dog-sat "Arf", the sister-in-law's spoiled mutt. He's fun, and harmless, really, but he IS spoiled, and knows it. But it was fun, and I enjoy the company of a dog for a short time. Next day we went back to have dinner and celebrate the mother-in-law's birthday. We got her a nice tea-brewing mug, some tea, and iTunes gift cards. Her husband got her a car, though, so he wins THIS round...

This past weekend we were pretty busy! I went to a church men's retreat, which was basically some workshops, huge buffet meals, and card games til 1 a.m. Got out of there at noon on Saturday and went to the cabin with some friends, where we hung out, hiked, went to the pumpkin patch (I got a pumpkin...its name is Hubert) and barbecued stuff. Fun, but not really super relaxing. In fact, our whole October is full of stuff to go to and people to see. When did we get popular?!

Still not sure what I'm going to be for Halloween...I'm deciding between Mad Hatter, Sherlock Holmes, and Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. May not do Shaggy if its going to be cold...I can layer up on the other two. And it depends on what Mrs. Fliven wants to do, too.

Is it just me, or do people get dumber when they get in their car? I don't think its just me, but really, why is that? We have this area that I have to travel each morning that backs up with traffic...but along one side for about 3/4 of a mile are shopping centers that are linked together, so for the unscrupulous driver, you could duck in, zoom through the parking lots, and then merge in ahead of 100 or so cars. And people ALLOW this! Didn't we go over 'not cutting in line' in like, kindergarten? I mean, if there were 50 people in line at the bank, and I walked in and cut in front of 47 of them, they'd raise a stink, wouldn't they? And rightly so. And I wouldn't do that, because its RUDE and just not DONE. How is it different when you're in a car? People decide they're more important and cut in line, and people LET them. Gets me so upset. I do NOT let them in. Hold the line, I say! HOLD THE LINE! Especially since they don't use a turn signal when merging. That's rudeness on top of dumbness on top of more rudeness. Anyway. And people down in this area will do one OTHER thing that acquires my livestock; they'll stop, in the middle of the street, in the middle of an intersection, doesn't matter. Hundreds of cars stacked up behind them, but they'll STOP to let someone who's turning go ahead of them. EVEN IF ITS AGAINST THE LAW. Apparently, if you're being 'nice to people', its NOT against the law, right? Oh wait, no, that's not true. Ask Kevorkian about that. Its just ridiculous, is what it is. And the not using the turn signal when changing lanes, but then turning it on when you're in the TURN ONLY LANE. I KNOW you're turning now, dummy! You have no CHOICE. It would have been helpful BEFORE, when you almost carved off my front bumper!

Venting done. This weekend I'm going to my first ever pro hockey game. Thrashers vs. Sharks. Should be a good time. Then Sunday we're going to a baptism for some friends' twin girls. They are adorable beyond measure, I tell you. Because they're twins, they're extra tiny, and even after 3 months are still newborn-sized. In the pictures my hands look GIGANTIC in comparison. Thankfully, we have Sunday afternoon off. Time for a nap...mmmm...nap...

The Return of the King

One of the shows that Mrs. Fliven and I like to watch is Man vs. Food. Its on the Travel Channel, and if you haven't seen it, check it out. The host, Adam Richman, goes around to different cities in the U.S., hitting the local pig out spots, the classic cuisine, and the unique foods. And once a show, he does the area's food challenge. For example, at the Big Texan restaurant, if you finish the 72-oz steak in under 30 minutes, its free. A lot of them come with a picture on a wall-of-fame or a t-shirt or something.

On the Atlanta area show, he went to 3 different places. The first was a chicken & waffle place, the second was the Vortex Bar & Grill, and the third was a pizza place with a food challenge. Yesterday, to celebrate our 13-month anniversary, we went to the Vortex. It was F-U-N. Its a neat little place with really good food, good atmosphere, relaxed, and the wait staff was superb.

They have many unique dishes that make it a F-U-N place, such as 20-something different types of burger, including the "double coronary", a 1/2 lb burger topped with two fried eggs, four slices of American cheese, and 5 slices of bacon, with two grilled cheese sandwiches replacing the buns. This is breakfast, 2 lunches, and a dinner in ONE SANDWICH. They also boast the appetizer "mucho mas macho nachos", which is just fun to say. I encourage anyone to read their menu, as it is funny and interesting, even if you don't eat there.

Now, I am not, as many of you know and will attest to, a bold and exciting person when it comes to culinary decisions. I do not mix things, try new things, or push the envelope. However, on this auspicious occassion, I did. I partook of the "Elvis Burger", which is a 1/2 lb burger, slathered with a King-sized helping of smooth peanut butter, bacon and fried bananas. I kept the lettuce, but removed the tomato and onion. To give you some idea of the size of this thing, I could barely hold it in my hands, much less fit it in my mouth. And yet, eat it I did! Not 10 minutes later, it was gone, but for crumbs. And I LIKED it. But immediately upon finishing said burger, I felt the need to slip into a food coma, right there on the restaurant floor. It didn't help that there was also a huge pile of fries in me, as well as a pint and a half of hard cider. Woof. I ate more than a day's worth of food in ONE MEAL.

Afterward, I sent a text message to my parents telling them of this peanut-buttery feat. Mom replied she was very impressed, and Dad replied to ask if I had Rolaids. Which I did. And now it is almost 24 hours since the "Kingly" sandwich, and I have eaten nought but a few goldfish crackers and a granola bar. And am not hungry in the least. I'm hoping by tomorrow, things will have evened out in the food department and I'll be back on a regular eating schedule. And I'm pleased to note that I did NOT need Rolaids...my stomach is strong like bull. :)

Coming Up Next: Fliven Goes To Camp, Fliven Watches Hockey, and Fliven's Halloween Special.

Scalp Herman.

The Jibbly-Inducer

Man of Many Hats

The worst thing in the world is being back from vacation for a few days and feeling like you need ANOTHER vacation. However, the vacation itself was outstanding. Went to some beaches, where it didn't rain once, and was warm but not humid. Check out my Facebook page for photos and whatnot.

Speaking of Facebook, I've been thinking about doing a series of profile picture photos that are all identical except that I'm wearing different hats. Lord knows I have 2-3 dozen hats, so it'd be worth the effort. I have a train conductor hat, and a lazer tag hat, and a couple different visors, and my outbacky-type zoo hat...yeah, this will be fun. The wife is going to be at work on Saturday, and I'll be in cleaning the office anyway, so perhaps I'll do it then.

The other day I had to kill a spider. And not just any spider, a BIG spider. I mean, as big as my PALM spider. It was ugly. Now, attacking a spider of this size is dicey, because they are FAST. So I had to find some way to slow it down to Fliven-speed. My weapon of choice for this strategem was a can of all-purpose Raid. Toxic, kinda filmy/gooey, and with a fresh mountain scent. One liberal spraying layer, this beastly arachnid attacks me! Pulling itself towards me at an alarming rate with only three of its eight legs! But at this point, it was no match for the awesome fury of the Doc Martens. Squish. However, its legacy remained...for the rest of the evening I had the jibblies. Here is my Chart of Freaking (patent pending):

(Level 0-5) Disturbed: Something out of the ordinary comes to your attention, and it isn't pleasant, but still mild, and you can take it in stride.

(Level 6-10) Freaked: A more unusual something occurs, which may elicit comment, blogging, texting, or other response.

(Level 11-20) Willies: The something that occurs causes shivers, alters brain function, and leaves a brief lingering effect.

(Level 21-25) Jibblies: The something causes yelling, repetitive statements, and the 'dance of distaste'; fetal position may be involved. Several hours or possibly days until normalcy is restored.

(Level 26+) Screaming Meemees: Total and complete freaking outedness; brought about by an event that will leave lifetime-long mental or emotional scarring.

This month is pretty busy for us. We've got things planned for pretty much every weekend until November. Plus all the new episodes of our favorite shows, and football (for the Mrs.) of course. This weekend we're planning on going to the state fair, which is always interesting, albeit a little redneck. Nothing wrong with that, though.

Today's literary masterpiece: "The Moose With The Loose Poops".

Good Ole Boys

This past weekend, Labor Day weekend, me and the Mrs. went to the in-laws cabin up in the mountains right on the border between Georgia and North Carolina. This is where the REDnecks are. They are every Jeff Foxworthy joke up there. I mean, there are normal people too, and businesses and whatnot, but the rednecks are there too. Where there are still spittoons in some bars and restaurants...that see regular use. Where a motorcycle costs more than the house its parked next to. And so on.

Anyway, we had a good time. Went out to eat, relaxed, saw 'Inglorious Basterds' (scalp Herman!), and so on. On Saturday we went to this, well, I guess you'd call it a general store. They had candy, clothes, shoes, furniture, sporting goods, camping supplies...and I think that's about it. We go in, cause there's a handgun on sale that Papa D wants to get. It was a nice little semi-auto handgun. Very slick. I got to see "The Judge" while we were there...its awesome! For those who don't know, it is a revolver that has extra-long chambers so you can use a small gauge shotgun shell in it. Look it up...there's a promo video where some dude is blowing holes in this target that are like, bowling ball sized. Bet it kicks like a mule though.

On the way home we stopped at Ingles for some strawberries, and Mama M ran inside while we waited in the loading area. Papa D pulls out the bullets and starts loading the cartridges. In the loading lane at a store. All we needed were ski masks. :) Then we got back to the cabin and shot a little bit. It was fun. But SUCH a completely redneck thing to do. Plus we had NASCAR on the TV! I fear my neck is becoming more and more red the longer I live here...if this is the last post I make that doesn't contain the words fixin', holler, y'all, or hootenanny, then know that I went into redneckery kicking and screaming, and to save yourselves; for this can happen to YOU too.

Today is the last day of work before our week long vacation, so of COURSE there's very little work to do and the time moves RIDICULOUSLY slow. Its gonna be so awesome! Momma Fliven's cooking, the beach, renaissance festival...man, it doesn't get much better than that.

Also, I got new glasses. I don't need them all the time, just when I'm working at the computer or reading for long periods of time. But they are cool because they are in MY exact prescription, whereas I just had junky generic CVS reading glasses before. And instead of things getting blurry four feet away, they are clear. (I'm farsighted). But here the redneckery creeps in again, for the glasses are made by Harley Davidson. My prescription, non-transition lens, non-sunglass, reading glasses are Harley Davidson. The motorcycle people. Is that 'Dueling Banjos' I hear...?