A Prize In Every Box

This is a place for the random musings and life experiences of one Fliven, who looks for life's fun little surprises, even when its in a giant box of stale, tasteless foodstuffs.

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Location: Sugar Hill, GA, United States

The details of my life remain shrouded in mystery.

Friday, November 04, 2011

The People I Know

I have been working at the same place for just over 3 years now, making it the longest-running single job I've ever had. Its a neat job, I like it, but the people here are horrible. I could break it down into a pie chart or some sort of circley diagram thing, but don't really feel like it. Plus I'm at work and it'd be sorta rude to do that.

1. The Unrestrained. I am not a person who is given to dislike a person based on their weight. I'm really not. But when someone at your office is at LEAST morbidly obese, meaning you have to flatten yourself against the hallway wall whenever you pass them, and you know for a fact its not a glandular or genetic thing, it becomes difficult not to get a little irritated with them. Especially when they are on their way to the break room to eat cake and ice cream. Seriously. Plus one time our A/C broke for a few hours. The SMELL. My LORD. It was like if you left a melty cheese assortment in a sock drawer for a week. That's not cool, man. Umm...but yeah. There are at least half a dozen people here who are like that. Five of them together would clear a ton.

2. The Ashen. There are a large percentage of people at this company, about a quarter if I had to guess, who are smokers. I don't dislike smokers. I think its a ridiculous habit, that doesn't do ANY good for you, but whatever. Having watched someone die from lung cancer caused by smoking, and then watching other people just lighting them up ALL THE TIME, it just strikes you as being sad and stupid. Its not my place to preach to them or make them stop. But when they go out to smoke 4 or 5 times a day when its 30 degrees and pouring rain, and then you have to cover their work because they got a cold, THAT is a little irksome. Or knowing that you're paying more for your health insurance because of them. Also annoying.

3. The Lethargians. The two ladies who do our order entry are the worst example of this. Oddly enough, they fall into categories 1 and 2 as well. They fart around, chit-chat, smoke, drink coffee, play games online, whatever, and do barely any work. And then when they get really swamped and are falling behind, they come and ask US to help enter orders to get caught up! And we need to do it, because its not the customer's fault that they're lazy jerks, and they NEVER get called on this because of category 4.

4. Weak Mans. What kind of company do you get when you put people in management who don't like confrontation? You get the kind that won't ding people for incompetence, won't work to change policy when its CLEARLY stupid not to, and don't even THINK about firing the worst ones. They become babysitters, basically. Running themselves ragged trying to clean up their charges' messes, rather than fixing the problem at its source.

5. The Detestable. The customer service people here are the most awful people. I am by nature a nice person, friendly to people I meet, and so on. These people, I can't even DO that. It takes everything I've got not to scream at them. They are lazy, they are manipulative, they are whiny, they are incredibly shallow, and have NO character whatsoever. Who takes an hour out of their day in an effort to shift the blame for a tiny error that would have NO REPERCUSSIONS? These people would. Who would take work home and get their FAMILIES to pore over it in an effort to find errors to blame on YOU? These people again. Who slaps you on the back and makes jokes like they're your best friend in the world, but, even though they've been working with you for THREE YEARS, you doubt they could tell you your last name? Yep, you guessed it.

6. The Dreamers. These are people who have no concept of time, or reality. These are the people who come up to you like 'I've had this sitting on my desk for a week, and they need it in an hour, so can you do it?' Sure, if you can go back in time to last week and GIVE IT TO ME THEN! You tell people at LEAST once a week that you can't scan things that are not a solid color, and yet, the next time they come back, they'll show you a page full of gradients and shades of color, and invariably ask 'can you scan this?' Ridiculous. Also, there's a tendency among these people to end their sentences with conjunctions, which gets on my nerves. So the question would actually be "hey, can you scan this or...?' Or even better 'I was going to bring this to you last but...so can you do this or...?' WTF?! Did you lose the ability to finish sentences?!

7. The Enraged. This would be those of us who end up having to clean up the stupid mistakes, get the blame for everything, find ways around weak management, NOT strangle people, plaster ourselves against walls, and so on. Dealing with these things all day has left us, at best, sarcastic and a bit irritable.

But I am glad to have a job, and a job that is fairly secure. Its just everyone ELSE'S job I could do without... :)