A Prize In Every Box

This is a place for the random musings and life experiences of one Fliven, who looks for life's fun little surprises, even when its in a giant box of stale, tasteless foodstuffs.

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Location: Sugar Hill, GA, United States

The details of my life remain shrouded in mystery.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I can haz blog!

Yeah, I've been spending time at I Can Has Cheezburger. So what? Its been REALLY slow at work this week, and I am amused by funny animal pictures with humorous captions. Plus you can add your own, so why not?

This All Hallows' Eve, I plan to embark on a night of frivolity under the guise of one Sherlock "Scooter" Holmes. I actually have no idea if Sherlock had a nickname in school; but it'd be funny to know what it was if he did. Like, good ole Sherlock "Buttface" Holmes, or you remember Sherlock "Nose Goblins" Holmes? Regardless, I have the hat, acquired from an authentic Scottish vendor at the VA highland games, the calabash pipe, the magnifying glass, the bowtie, etc. I do not have the houndstooth cloak, but only because I couldn't find one that matched my hat. And the Mrs. is going as a pirate this year. We will be running around Athens, GA with another couple, who are dressing as JD from Scrubs and Joanna from Office Space (complete with 17 pieces of flair). It promises to be fun.

Also, I am having trouble deciding how to carve my pumpkin this year. I did Snoopy as a WWI flying ace last year, which was AWESOME, so follow-up will be difficult. Maybe I'll just kick a hole in the front and stick a candle in it. Perfect! Simple, effective, classic.

My Christmas list is done, and shopping is well underway. Not much frivolous stuff this year, with the exception of a Nerf 'Vulcan' dart gun. If you haven't seen this, its the equivalent of an M60 gun emplacement. Comes with a tripod and everything.

Ummm...work is really slow today. Here is a catalog of everything on and around my desk: computer, monitor, stupid 1-button mac mouse (not plugged in), keyboard, slick 2-button mouse (plugged in), Swingline stapler, a few proof folders, 2 pens, 9 cents in pennies, a monocle (not the in-the-eye kind, but the jeweler/printer uber magnifying kind), some paperclips, my phone, scanner, water bottle from Chesapeake Knife & Tool (half full), my messenger bag with stuff in it, metal ruler, Swatch book, and recycling bin.

According to the scale at Fry's Electronics, I have gained 40 lbs since I graduated college. I am a fatty fatty piggy pig! Ha ha, not really. I think 'average' weight for my height is like, 170. Since I was 125 lbs when I graduated, I'm STILL below average, and need to lose a few, actually. Or at least redistribute the weight from the belly area to other regions. Getting old though. Speaking of which, we joined a small group (I say small, but its still 14 people) at church of other couples who are married but don't have kids yet. It was wild because we were the oldest by several years. And like, TEN years older than the youngest. Man, I felt ancient. Still, they seem like good people. One of them is manager of a Waffle House, so yeah...we'll be buddy-buddy so there can be free waffles for Fliven. Mmmm...free waffles...

Remember: if you look like your passport picture, you need the trip.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cabin Fever

Ok, who turned on the winter?! Really, it was warm and rainy last week, and this week its dry and COLD. I'm scraping my windshield, for crying out loud! Hard on a person, that drastic a weather change.

2 weekends ago we went to the North Georgia State Fair. It was more shucksters and fewer crafts and agriculture than I expected, but it was still pretty interesting. Look for the photos on my facebook page soon. They'll be good for a laugh. Only in the lovely South will you find a stand selling deep fried Oreos next to a stand selling thongs. And people going from one to the other, who shouldn't be at either one. Yikes.

That weekend we also dog-sat "Arf", the sister-in-law's spoiled mutt. He's fun, and harmless, really, but he IS spoiled, and knows it. But it was fun, and I enjoy the company of a dog for a short time. Next day we went back to have dinner and celebrate the mother-in-law's birthday. We got her a nice tea-brewing mug, some tea, and iTunes gift cards. Her husband got her a car, though, so he wins THIS round...

This past weekend we were pretty busy! I went to a church men's retreat, which was basically some workshops, huge buffet meals, and card games til 1 a.m. Got out of there at noon on Saturday and went to the cabin with some friends, where we hung out, hiked, went to the pumpkin patch (I got a pumpkin...its name is Hubert) and barbecued stuff. Fun, but not really super relaxing. In fact, our whole October is full of stuff to go to and people to see. When did we get popular?!

Still not sure what I'm going to be for Halloween...I'm deciding between Mad Hatter, Sherlock Holmes, and Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. May not do Shaggy if its going to be cold...I can layer up on the other two. And it depends on what Mrs. Fliven wants to do, too.

Is it just me, or do people get dumber when they get in their car? I don't think its just me, but really, why is that? We have this area that I have to travel each morning that backs up with traffic...but along one side for about 3/4 of a mile are shopping centers that are linked together, so for the unscrupulous driver, you could duck in, zoom through the parking lots, and then merge in ahead of 100 or so cars. And people ALLOW this! Didn't we go over 'not cutting in line' in like, kindergarten? I mean, if there were 50 people in line at the bank, and I walked in and cut in front of 47 of them, they'd raise a stink, wouldn't they? And rightly so. And I wouldn't do that, because its RUDE and just not DONE. How is it different when you're in a car? People decide they're more important and cut in line, and people LET them. Gets me so upset. I do NOT let them in. Hold the line, I say! HOLD THE LINE! Especially since they don't use a turn signal when merging. That's rudeness on top of dumbness on top of more rudeness. Anyway. And people down in this area will do one OTHER thing that acquires my livestock; they'll stop, in the middle of the street, in the middle of an intersection, doesn't matter. Hundreds of cars stacked up behind them, but they'll STOP to let someone who's turning go ahead of them. EVEN IF ITS AGAINST THE LAW. Apparently, if you're being 'nice to people', its NOT against the law, right? Oh wait, no, that's not true. Ask Kevorkian about that. Its just ridiculous, is what it is. And the not using the turn signal when changing lanes, but then turning it on when you're in the TURN ONLY LANE. I KNOW you're turning now, dummy! You have no CHOICE. It would have been helpful BEFORE, when you almost carved off my front bumper!

Venting done. This weekend I'm going to my first ever pro hockey game. Thrashers vs. Sharks. Should be a good time. Then Sunday we're going to a baptism for some friends' twin girls. They are adorable beyond measure, I tell you. Because they're twins, they're extra tiny, and even after 3 months are still newborn-sized. In the pictures my hands look GIGANTIC in comparison. Thankfully, we have Sunday afternoon off. Time for a nap...mmmm...nap...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Return of the King

One of the shows that Mrs. Fliven and I like to watch is Man vs. Food. Its on the Travel Channel, and if you haven't seen it, check it out. The host, Adam Richman, goes around to different cities in the U.S., hitting the local pig out spots, the classic cuisine, and the unique foods. And once a show, he does the area's food challenge. For example, at the Big Texan restaurant, if you finish the 72-oz steak in under 30 minutes, its free. A lot of them come with a picture on a wall-of-fame or a t-shirt or something.

On the Atlanta area show, he went to 3 different places. The first was a chicken & waffle place, the second was the Vortex Bar & Grill, and the third was a pizza place with a food challenge. Yesterday, to celebrate our 13-month anniversary, we went to the Vortex. It was F-U-N. Its a neat little place with really good food, good atmosphere, relaxed, and the wait staff was superb.

They have many unique dishes that make it a F-U-N place, such as 20-something different types of burger, including the "double coronary", a 1/2 lb burger topped with two fried eggs, four slices of American cheese, and 5 slices of bacon, with two grilled cheese sandwiches replacing the buns. This is breakfast, 2 lunches, and a dinner in ONE SANDWICH. They also boast the appetizer "mucho mas macho nachos", which is just fun to say. I encourage anyone to read their menu, as it is funny and interesting, even if you don't eat there.

Now, I am not, as many of you know and will attest to, a bold and exciting person when it comes to culinary decisions. I do not mix things, try new things, or push the envelope. However, on this auspicious occassion, I did. I partook of the "Elvis Burger", which is a 1/2 lb burger, slathered with a King-sized helping of smooth peanut butter, bacon and fried bananas. I kept the lettuce, but removed the tomato and onion. To give you some idea of the size of this thing, I could barely hold it in my hands, much less fit it in my mouth. And yet, eat it I did! Not 10 minutes later, it was gone, but for crumbs. And I LIKED it. But immediately upon finishing said burger, I felt the need to slip into a food coma, right there on the restaurant floor. It didn't help that there was also a huge pile of fries in me, as well as a pint and a half of hard cider. Woof. I ate more than a day's worth of food in ONE MEAL.

Afterward, I sent a text message to my parents telling them of this peanut-buttery feat. Mom replied she was very impressed, and Dad replied to ask if I had Rolaids. Which I did. And now it is almost 24 hours since the "Kingly" sandwich, and I have eaten nought but a few goldfish crackers and a granola bar. And am not hungry in the least. I'm hoping by tomorrow, things will have evened out in the food department and I'll be back on a regular eating schedule. And I'm pleased to note that I did NOT need Rolaids...my stomach is strong like bull. :)

Coming Up Next: Fliven Goes To Camp, Fliven Watches Hockey, and Fliven's Halloween Special.

Scalp Herman.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

The Jibbly-Inducer