When Beetles Fight These Battles…

Boar’s Head, the leader in deli meats, just released a new product. This product is their Caribbean-style Jerk Turkey. Seriously, turkeys are not indigenous to the Caribbean, so this is ludicrous to begin with. But the name struck me as funny. Jerk Turkey. And then I dove into the world of Seuss for some reason, pissing off the wife while doing so:

 If they dried it out, it would be Jerk Turkey Jerky.

 If the recipe was developed in Istanbul, it would be Turkish Jerk Turkey Jerky.

 If the guy who sold it to you was from that same place, he would be the Turkish Jerk Turkey Jerky Turk.

 If that guy was extremely rude, he’d be a Jerk Turkish Jerk Turkey Jerky Turk.

 If he enjoyed being rude, he’d consider it a Jerk Turkish Jerk Turkey Jerky Turk Perk.

 If this was not the norm, which it isn’t, the rest of us would consider it a Quirky Jerk Turkish Jerk Turkey Jerky Turk Perk.

 Life is glorious.

UPDATE: There is a product on the market I found that is caffeinated jerky.  It is called "Perky Turkey Jerky".  So now you can have a "Quirky Jerk Turkish PERKY Jerk Turkey Jerky Turk Perk.  That is so awesome…